For this documentary, I wanted to create a performative piece with aspects of Bill Nichols' poetic
mode to document the psychological turmoil of growing up—fears, loss of innocence, and the role that family relationships play in how we develop. I decided to use my own experiences as the subject of this film to showcase my state of mind as I have gotten older and the emotional impact that reflecting on one's childhood  can have.

 

I chose this documentary topic because I was having a conversation with an old friend about the way things change as we get older: our familial relationships, our worries, our goals, and our overall perspective on life, and I wanted to delve deeper into the thoughts that came to mind after that discussion.

 

Bill Nichols' performative mode is the best vehicle for this documentary because of its autobiographical nature since this film relies heavily on personal experiences and memories. As for elements of the poetic mode, I decided to emphasize mood and tone throughout the film through the use of layered whispers, expressivity through internal monologues, and playing with the timing and speed of each shot to show the overwhelming emotions these thoughts can have.

 

For visuals in my documentary I used a combination of close-up confessionals, family re-enactment, and old home videos and photographs as archival footage. As for audio, I included multiple voiceovers through the use of a lavalier, natural sounds of the the world gathered through field recording on a Zoom H4n, audio from the home footage, dialogue from my family members for the re-enactment sequences, and an instrumental for the credits.